Memo: Don’t Compare Homeless People To Stray Cats, You Will Make Brittany Shriek Like A Tree Monkey

treemonkey

“Homeless people are not animals! Also, feed the damned animals, what is wrong with you?!”

I’ve decided not to write about my epic saga of homelessness or related adventures anymore, or at least not for a little while. While my finances are still terribly precarious, and my PTSD is still quite T, I am a much happier and healthier person than I was when I started this blog a year ago.

It’s easy to get stuck in past traumas. Hyper-vigilant people don’t necessarily stop hyper-vigilating just because they’ve reached safe harbor. Sometimes you have to locate your own off-switch and firmly instruct your brain that it’s time to think about other stuff now.

This is me, doing that. Or fixin’ to do it, as they say in Raleigh.

Before I leave the topic behind entirely, there are a handful of sentiments about homelessness that I need to get off my chest. These are things that I learned while I was homeless, the stuff that surprised me or took me off guard. Stuff that I wished folks understood about people like me, and stuff I wish my friends understood about the homeless people I encounter now.

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Supersizers Go: The American South

In the last week, I’ve mainlined every episode of Supersizers Go, a British TV program in which restaurant critic Giles Corren and comedian Sue Perkins get medically tested, then dress up in costumes and eat the food they would have eaten during various periods of history, such as ancient Rome or wartime Britain. They get tested again at week’s end to see what damage the foods of bygone eras have done to their health.

Originally, I thought today’s blog post would be about how I learned to cook. (It was in self-defense.) Then I thought, “Wouldn’t it be funny if Giles Corren had to eat the food I grew up on? Wouldn’t Sue Perkins make amazing faces?” (Sue Perkins makes the best faces.)

So here I present a loving parody of my newest favorite TV show. I call it Supersizers Go: The American South.

Casting spoiler: I play the chef.

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